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Shallow Wednesday, November 08, 2006

I think my life is deteriorating. I've been getting hit after hit and i dont think i can take it anymore. The bads are getting worse and the good's arent even that good anymore... or they just seem to not matter as much. Its like the pieces of my world are falling apart and i have some retard syndrome that prevents me from fitting the pieces back together. Its this stale decomposition that fills my breath with the stench of rotting flesh. I thought i got better and i would stay that way but i guess i'm just not cut out for happiness... only the dark shadows and robust hold of disappointment. I dont wanna go back to that old life i led where every day took so much effort it felt like breathing through a straightjacket around a corset. The only thing i can rely on now is my shell, painted with warm tones of rich in stunning surrealism like that of Dali. Thats what its supposed to be anyways though it probably looks like a drawing of an 8 year old. It keeps me in but the harsh external elements can always puncture a hole through the fragile membrane. I just hope it keeps fooling everyone like it did before.

I made it out of the last black hole. But i dunno if i'll bother to try getting out of this one. I'll just fall back in anyways.