The only place to read personal recounts of our resident vampire.

[X] Navigations are below

Enter the Stygian Foretress Friday, July 28, 2006

What's wrong with me? Sure, i'm sociable and i KNOW i'm not secretly unliked by as much people as yk. But i do have my fair share of enemies. Anyway, thats not the point. It seems i dont fit in anywhere. Like everyone has their own cliques. They're so close and stuff, you know. And i'm neither here nor there. Am i searching for something or am i just detached? Its like i'm just 'that guy in my class'. I cant describe what its like. I'm just left out or something. It cant be anyone else's problem can it? They're doing fine arent they? So its all me. Where did i go wrong? What did i or didnt i do? Its like, sure were one big happy class, then when they all disperse in their groups, i'm left standing there. Alone. I know, boo hoo. Sob story. I wish i could just tell myself "deal with it" or "nobody gives a rats ass". Its like my aunt is askin me who i'm going out with to spend my birthday with. Nobody. But i cant tell her that. She thinks i'm socially established. Whatever that means. I'll just have to lie. I cant stay at home... i know it'll make me feel worse. Hopefully the polluted outdoor air will do me some good. Of course i'm gonna go despo and ask loads of people and be turned down 99% of the time. But if thats what it takes than yeah. When will it stop?

I hate myself for being so whiny. But i just had to get it out of my system.

Code Black Thursday, July 27, 2006

Yay! Finally got a lappie! Her name is Jadis. As in you know jadis the white witch? Yea... she's a white compaq. Yay. There was some whole drama before actually getting this. Its like at 1st i was supposed to get this $880 one of some unknown jap brand that my uncle recommended. But when i got to sim lim and saw it, it was just so unfortunate looking. Seriously. So like i eyed this one cause it was still kinda budget then the salesperson told my uncle that like this one would be a lot better since i'm gonna use like photoshop and stuff. So wahahah. Cash. We aslo went to courts but the interest rate was too high.

My dad spent like a lot on me that weekend. In addition to the $1400 for jadis, was the wireless router, almost 70 bucks, and the skin centre bill was like almost $300.

Another yay for my 1st birthday pressie! Sy got me the new Muse album. It sounds quite different from their older songs but it still rocks. Hmm, i wonder how much cash i'm gonna get from my relatives this year. Hope its enough to get me a new bag and fund the hair straightening i intend to do at the end of august. I think i'm gonna ask my mom to get me that nice shirt from far east plaza i saw the other day. And i still have no plans for how to celebrate my birthday this saturday. I mean seriously, i dun wanna rot at home that day. Soo not sexay. Hmm, but i'm super lazy to organise anything. Wont it be super if someone organises something for me? hmm, well, i guess i'll just watch lady in the water or something.

Speakin of movies, i watched Pirates of the Carribean with Delicious yesterday. It was so awesome. A really good movie. Funny, adventurous and exciting. Davey jones' face is so repulsive and kiera knightly looks kinda weird with her blond hair and dark brown eyebrows. They should have dyed her brows too. Or is both natural? i dunno. Hmm, another plan for sat, ask dylis out for dinner. But she's broke cause of yesterday so i'm not sure. Unless she gets her allowance or something by then. And i bet i'lll be needing an advance in MY allowance too. You know, to make my celebrations more complete.

But its funny cause i dont really feel the anticipation or buzz of turning 17. Its like there's buzz or excitement. i dunno, i guess maybe i'm becoming mre mature....AS IF. Heheh.

Here's muse's new vid. It quite cool.

Morbidity Exposed
10:20 AM

Yellow Circles and Blue Divas Sunday, July 23, 2006

Ok, this is supposed to be part of the previous post but i'm afraid that if the post was too long, its just gonne be boring. So like, hyou see shou know, this way you can read them on separate days. Considerate arent i?

Anyways, marketing is over too. Last sunday, ber, joce and dan came to my house for a meeting. My aunt cooked spaghetti. We took pics of me as a businessman, and of our glasses and handphones and stuff. We were supposed to do our speeches but we didnt get around to do it. Instead i did dan's hair- used hairspray and gel to put up his stubborn hair. It looked kinda good, but he was paiseh to be seen with it in public. Whatever that was about. Then i flat-ironed ber's hair and she loved it... although it didnt last that long.

On monday, we met at 11 in school for final touch-ups and printing before the submission at 12. Unfortunately, everyone was late and there were some mistakes in the slides, so i got dan to change it, but then the print room was busy so we couldnt print it out in time but thank god dan already printed out the unedited version, so i was running like a madman up and down, to sub mit the unedited printout and the edited version on cd, 5 mins late. Hope he doesnt dock too much points off it. Then that night i wrote my speech and practiced it. Was supposed to get up earlier the next morning to practice sumore but i overslept. So i got to school, met up with the others at 8.30 for the finalisation of everything and we went in the room for presntation at 9.

The 1st 3 groups did their thing, quite well too. Grp 3 was the most professional although you could see adeline and jared were the dominators. Then it was our turn. I started off, kinda ok i guess. Then wen we got to the product page, i was supposed to extend my pointer thingie and whack it on the screen... you know for theatrics, but i opened it up too much and it just flopped... cause at the bottom there's a movable joint so yeah...everyone laughed. But then i continuead and ber was next. Then jocelyn. I like her "not forgetting the forgetful" line although she didnt emphasize on it enough so a lot of ppl didnt catch it. Then daniel was so paralysed with fear, he couldnt say much. Then sushi had her super complete but rather winding explanations and when it came to the questions, i guess we handled them ok. Then the guests said stuff. And one of the guys said i engaged him. Yay. But i didnt follow up to fully excite him with juicy product info and stuff. so yeah.

Then we had to write some critical reflection thing to be handed up by thursday and i just crapped a lot to fill a page whereas ppl like adeline filled almost 2 pages in super small font. WTH.

Last night i went to this chalet thing that my relatives on my mom's side held. It was total pandemonium. So many kids, so much noise. Perfect opportunity for bitching.
So anyways, the place was so completely filthy, as in there were food remains everywher and i hated walking on the greasy floor. There were loads of nice food
though. My mom wqas trying to be young again... heading all the kids games and she's just so.... i dont have a word to describe it even though i got a distinction in english. She just never lets anything go. Like she was forcing mone of my cousins to dance and he like didnt want to and she was being such a vamp. And later, she also danced with my other aunt... the fat one from holland. See, it was funny wen tha fat aunt did it but like my mom was desperately trying to look sexy or young or watever with her now shapeless body and her always messy 80's-ish hair. Then there's this other bitch that my mom always hangs out with... her cousin. She's younger and slimmer but still had put on weight. And i have to give her props for discipline cause the whole time, she like had her chest and butt out so that her growing tummy would be hidden. Tough luck. And the reason i extemely dislike her is just... i dunno i cant specifically point out, but she has this bitchy aura, some repulsive character that you cant see but just feel. Its some kind or arrogance or superiority. And we(me, my dad and my aunt) suspect that she's flirting around with other ppl and either her husband doesnt know, or he just isnt the confrontational kind. And her son is so fat now he looked like a watermelon in his green t-shirt. Him shouting half the time did not help his image. There were a couple of others who also put on weight but they're too insignificant to waste my time about.

My am i bitchy today.

Morbidity Exposed
1:30 PM

Whore Licks

WooHooo! Basic photog is over! It was kinda stressful so i'm glad. OK, heres the week leading up to the day wher we got JUDGED.

On sunday after our marketing meeting(touch on that later), Bernice, me and jocelyn went for a photoshoot. Ber was my model, joyce was our guide. See, my theme song talks about escaping a harsh reality, so i had to take photos of ber daydreaming in dilapidated places and playing in serene places. So that day, we started at city hall and walked all the way to chinatown. Photog is tiring. We stopped by the old capitol theatre, some construction site and finally our destination, this boarded up, rotting shophouse. Of couse we fooled around a lot along the way la.


me arguing with the statues


jocelyn participating in an arbitration


me being cheeky

Then on monday, after the marketing submission(again i will explain later), me, jocelyn and sy went to botanic gardens for the 'serene' shots. Adeline followed us on our super long journey to city hall mrt, cause she was going to the raffles city starbucks. Anyways, we took the 518 express bus which was so ex, and missed a stop so we ended up at like suntec, so we got ice-cream from ben & jerry's and let me tell you, the cookie dough one is so freakin gorgeous. I'm a sucker for uncooked cookie dough. And at city hall, jocelyn went off to buy film at peninsular, while me and sy went to meet ber at orchard mrt. Poor thing she had to wait so long for us. Anyways, wen joce came, we took a bus to botanic gardens. I made ber run and jump and flip her hair and stuff. I bet she was super tired. I owe you lunch ok?


i love this pic


we got up-close and personal to the swans... thanks to some guy who was feeding and photographing them.


nice name for a plant


the four of us

Anyways, after that we went to meet charlicharlicharli, emo and the lovebirds daniel and lynne for dinner at mos. Sy split cause he had stuff to do. Then while walkin around later, i saw quite a few of the idol finalists in Zara. Rahimah, Jay, Nurul, Paul and Jonathan. Its funny that you see on tv hoards of ppl is shouting for them at the meet and greet sessions but here, nobody gave a second glance. Except me of course. Not that i like them as celebs... cause theyre not even that yet. But like wat were they doing there? they barely shopped. Then i went to far east plaza to take bus home... concession you know.

Back to BaPho. On tues i developed the film and a lot of them turned out under-exposed. When i showed the contact sheets to terrence, he wasnt impressed. So went by the days of wed and thur, coughing up sheets of expensive photo paper, tryin to get the right darkness or contrast or whatever, dodging, burning, immersing my hands in the harmful chemicals till my fingers were pruny. But no... he cares for whats in the picture, not how you take it. I dont get how a straight on, unfocused photo of 4 unprofessional drags can get four nods. See, he was this marking "mechanism" where he'lll give you nods at each picture, or sometimes, none. If i had known, i would have printed more than 4. I think Carmen did the best, and fully deserved the high marks she got. Omg, they were so full of emotion. It was so professional and artistic. And when she showed them with the music, it was like a match made in heaven. I give you salute. She got 8 nods, i got 3. But at least i passed and for this module, thats all i hoped for. The only 2 who failed were nat and shannon, cause they didnt have prints to show, and the latter wasnt even present... not that thats surprising. Ok, i'm being bitchy... and i shouldnt cause she's a nice person but still, its not good for you to be always skippin class. And in photog, that means you cant do the work. I hope you wisen up soon.

Ooh, almost forgot... this is how i dressed and did my hair that day.


do you love it?


glam pose in un-glam place

Then after that we all whooped in joy and me, sy and delicious went to have dinner at pepper lunch... a new experience. It was like a hybrid of like seoul garden and a food court. The food was good. Then we had ice-cream at gelatissimo and went home. Ah, the sweet sleep.

Ouh... here are my photos... theyre kinda blurry here cause i took them in night mode and the macro on my phone doesnt work in that mode.

Morbidity Exposed
12:23 PM

Love Me Bitch Saturday, July 15, 2006

Well, last saturday, me, jocelyn, daniel, lynne, bernice and charli went to go watch a movie at cine. At 1st we decided on scary movie 4, but it was like almost over, and the girls didnt want to watch superman. So we like went upstairs and made a big hoo ha about which dvd to rent. See, up till that day, i didnt know you could like rent a dvd and book a room to watch it in at cine level 9. Well now i know. We picked flight plan which turned out better than i expected. The max capacity for the room was like 4 ppl but there were like 6 of us so it was rather cramped. We got like nachos and popcorn. Wat daniel claims his 1st outing with poly ppl. Well mine too. Then like after the movie ended and we were packing up to leave, i said something weird..."hey, we're poly students". I mean like super duh, but it was just like i was so used to sec school and the ppl there, and it just felt like that and like i realised we're not. We're older and stuff. Its like you know you work out too much one day and you only feel the cramp like the next day or 2 days later? somethin like that.

me and life-size cutouts of the sg idol finalists at cine

The photog assignment is such a bitch. Unlike all the other classes and even terrence's previous classes, we have to do a theme totally chosen by him. Like all the others are like they come up with 5 or 10 theme ideas and the lecturer chooses 1, terr just gave us music. It took me so long to make up my mind about which song to do(cause like when he sees the pics, it must match a song in mood and watever). In the end i chose imaginary by evanescence cause i figured it wouldnt be that hard to shoot... but i need a model. Prolly be usin bernice.

Marketing is going better i guess. The slides are almost done. We have to hand up the printouts on monday. Tomoro the group is coming over to do our speeches and take photos of me as a businessman... for the project of course. The indian girl, sashi, has really soft and nice hair and guess wat, she's getting married next year.


This is us.


me and dan bein cam whores

I asked sy if he was going baybeats yesterday and he said yea... with 2 of his orientation ppl. So i agreed to meet him at 6 at design sch entrance. Actually i thought of going out to shoot but wen i got back to sch, almost everyone was like gone and sy was so into his work so i went to eat at jupiter alone and was going to sit at the edge of bedok reservoir just to mull things over but then i saw this amphitheatre thingie so i went down, put my things and started singing. Absolutely no one came by. So i like put my bag down as a pillow, and slept on the floor like a hobo.


this is the place

Then darren's call woke me up and i went to meet him at city hall. Made our way to esplanade but it was kinda early so we like hung around, and then wen the show was about to start(7.30) we sat in that little set-up beside this old couple. Somebody should have told them the carpenters are dead. There were like a whole lotta weirdos around, some cool, others simply desperately trying. anyways, the 1st performer was kinda good... acoustic stuff. It would have been really romantic if i were with the right person but ah well... we dont always get wat we want. Then we intended to go for dinner, met up with sy and his 2 boyish girls, but they like already ate so me and darren ate at this halal cafe that was rather expensive while some band went totally screamo at the other stage(bigger, but less known ppl. it was like a controlled mosh pit. dapnhe knoo's band was there too. she was quite good.) The satay was quite good but the sandwich was kinda weird.

Then we went back to the stage, saw yk, met up with sy and walked around and got the lanyard. Its really nice. Then we went back to the small stage where this band was playin, headed by some semi drag guy. Like he had on super tight pants, a sparky pink top and a pink feather boa. Sy was so offended by it so we went to the other stage. Then wen darren left to go watch movie with his friends, we went to 'relak one koner'... till my aunt called of course then i headed home.


chocolate-covered stawberries are such a slutty food. It was good tho. And darren looks like a slut. haha.


this is the small stage


there were these really cool drawings on display


the big stage

Morbidity Exposed
3:00 PM

Quest for the Thingie Monday, July 10, 2006

Zidane is such a stupid bitch. Because of his overwhelming testosterones that cause his bald spot, he headbutts some italian guy real hard in the chest and gets sent off with a red card... which is why the french lost. At least thats wat i think. Its not like i followed the world cup at all. Its just that sunday morning i decided that i would watch the match that night... or rather, the next morning. And i like just picked france with no particular reason,(even though everyone predicted italy would win), and supported them throughout the game. And what a game it was. It was amazing that i was actually not bored. Maybe its because of the extremely high stakes. Hmm. Anyways italy won. tg i'm not like some gung ho fan. The disappointment was rather minute.

So we've like started our developing photos in the darkroom and everything and this module is like the most mah fan of all cause of the lack of resources. I mean like its like i'm either bored sick with nothing to do, or i'm rushing like hell, getting my fingers slowly eaten away by the loads of smelly chemicals. Developing is very, very tedious. There are like so many factors that could cause the film or print to go wrong. I just want this block to be over as quick as possible.


The darkroom. But the room we load the film into the developing tank is 10 times darker...absolute darkness. Its really like you're blind.

Niways, last friday, BaPho class was cancelled so we went to go shoot. Me, sy and Dilys(a.k.a delicious) decided to go changi village. So we took 29 from tampines interchange and like hlafway we like saw reasonably nice scenery and got off. It was so frikin hot and sunny la... by the time this block is over i'm gonna be at least 2 shades darker. After walking a while, we saw the prison fence and i thought the barbed wire would look cool in the photos. So we were happily snapping when this civillian-looking person came up to us and asked us if we had the release to do it. I hate these ppl. They like already know we dont have it but they ask anyway. Not because they're being nice and are givin us the benifit of a doubt, but because they love being sarcastic and in power and seeing us squirm. So we just like said oh we didnt know, ans sy made most of the apologies and he left. It took us forever to like get past the huge compound so we could actually take photos without any morons buging us. I mean seriously, how much intellectual property is there in a blank fence, or as if we were like feeding info to the prisoners inside.

Because Dil was so impatient( she insisted we not wait at the 29 stop we were at, but walk to the next one), we ended up like walking up 4 long different streets in the sweltering sun before we actually found the correct bus stop.


Look how low the button for the traffic light is...

We got on and dropped like at the chalet area. Started walking and tg there was more shade. And guess wat? we actually passed by old changi hospital! ooo. There was this like really big group of young ppl(they looked like 19 to 24-ish), wearing sporty clothes and looked like they were about to enter it.


this was as close as i would get to it.


Then we walked sumore and saw this rather ironic road name.


This has got to be like the coolest road name in Singapore.

After having a drink at a coffee shop, we headed to the beach for more sexy photos. There were like many groups of those kind of ppl we saw earliar at OCH, playing all sorts of games. Dunno wat kind of camp or something. Here's some pics, although there are a lot more sexy ones taken with the slr.






I so love this scene


There were planes coming in like every 5 mins.

Morbidity Exposed
9:01 PM

Espelanard. Deh. Monday, July 03, 2006

Yesterday went to chinatown with sy to take photos. It was so freakishly hot and sunny. Argh. Went around, got some good shots, like one of this old, back-alley barber or the lanturns. There was this little performance by some chinese acrobats and there was thins and moh kid that kept trying to get to the 'stage'(by that i mean the large piece of cloth the people were gyrating on) and the dad kept tryin to hold her back. Thing is, that toddler had the most beautiful, platinum blond, almost white hair. It was like soo cool.

Then walked all the way through the CBD and spotted some SA posers/skaters. Then later at the brige near esplanade, i finished my second roll of film and started winding it up, but unlike the 1st one, there was no resistance. So with sy's instructions, i put in the 3rd roll like the second one. And took one or two shots. Wen i got home, i opened the camera up and found that the film was still loose and not anymore unwound than wen i put it in. Which means that the whole 2nd roll was nothing! From the fruit stall in the evening light, to the old guy sitting on the edge of an abandoned bathtub. All gone. All the hot and sweaty time in chinatown... wasted. *&$^^$#&%^#*&^$&((*&^(*&^(*^*&^*&^(*&^%##$!$*&)(*)!


some shophouse that was next to a deserted office building...so much of them.


shiny ball in the cbd.


i found this kinda funny in present day situations

Then today i went to buy the photography stuff at peninsular plaza. While waiting for darren, i saw this group of ang mo guys at the hotel lobby, coming out, all weraing some sort of sports uniform and half of them wearing chequered skirts. Like you know in that britney vid? Hit me baby, i must be dreaming. Ok, fine, they were kilts. They must be like scottish or something. But it still was kinda funny.




i know they're really blurry, but i had to do it in descretion. Dont wanna offend them and get whacked in the head with bagpipes.

Then we bought the stuff, my bill came up to 75 bucks. I didnt buy the paper cause sy bought too much and i'll be buyin it from him. And yes, your voicemail IS kinda slutty. Like manly slutty. Hahah. Darren had to go to an atm to withdraw money cause his card like maxed out or something. So chick flick wher some bimbo got her credit card rejected from over-spending and the cashier cut it in half. Ok, it wasnt even half that exciting. Then we walked around to take photos(cause the whole second roll was wasted cause... nvm) But there wasnt anything really interesting to take so we like ended up in raffles city cause my aunt wanted cheesecake from starbucks... and so did i... seeing as the stupid mrs fields there doesnt have the brownie i want. And i'm so fed up with the mrs fields at bishan cause i got them the other day and they're like 1/3 flatter than they used to be. And the price was only lowered from $2.30 to $2. And that sumore was supposed to be a promotion. Stupid cheapskates.

Morbidity Exposed
9:10 PM

Eos Dramata Saturday, July 01, 2006

On thursday we had to choose our groups for the final MkDes project... so i grouped with Daniel, Jocelyn and Bernice. We had to take a product and make great changes to it and market it. We had some ideas, a beeping sticker that helps you find misplaced items, a house gecko trap ala roach motel that freezes those pesky reptiles, a heart pacemaker in the form of a necklace and a mask that allows smokers to take a puff anywher. We chose the beeping sticker in the end. It has a lot of defining to do and i'm researching all the demographics of potential consumers now. And it sucks that our group has to take in some girl who was absent the whole week. I mean i dont blame her for not being present cause she's sick, but then operations wont run so smoothly, seeing as she's a stranger to all of us( a senior in adm i think).
It seems that i've taken on the role of being the joker in the class, seeing as everyone else isnt as whacked. I mean like in DrFun and CreTh there were ppl like raziz and chun yeung to fire everyone up. But my MkDes class is not that exciting. But who knows... maybe that person hasnt warmed up enough yet.

And then after that, we had to make our way to the National Museum and Ann(terrence's helper) led some of us there. It is so beutiful and spacious after the renovation.






Sy peeing. The photo was his idea.

Anyways, we walked into the gallery and it was so sexy. All dark and eerie with very selective lighting and abience sounds... i want my future home to be like that. Some of the artworks were really cool. Then after that he asked us to roam around the place testing our cameras for half an hour but of course we took longer than that.


a dragonfly i found. its alive btw.


i forgot her name again...looking at a millipede








nat being dramatic.

Then Ann led us to the next exhibition, by foot, a very long way. She lectured joel for stepping on a weed-ish thing growing at the bottom of a traffic light and shannon couldnt stand it(i still remember the slap she gave ann on the 1st day... verbally of course) Ann was a bit too over. Anyways terrence wasnt there at the arts house and as we were about to go upstairs for the exhibition, news came that we had to write a 500 word essay on the two exhibitions and the person whose work was exhibited in the 2nd one... by the next day. Turns out his(Henri Cartier-Besson... i dont understand the hyphen in the name) work was really good. They all seemed to tell stories ans all oozed human emotion. My fav was a photo of plastic horses of a broken down carousel in front of very dilapidated and damaged high walls. So i was takin like a whole bunch of notes. And while some ppl took down the short write-up about Henri in the gallery, i went home and found an 8 page article from which i extracted like 10% of it. And i over-estimated the length of 500 words, cause it seems pretty long. In the end i went way over. 1060 words. Hahah. Verbal diorrhea. I'm very good at bullshitting.

Then yesterday we had to meet up at the jln besar Macdonalds for our 1st photoshoot. I super-hate my old cameras. It takes me forever to get it focused. And mine is somehow different from everyone elses. Shyt. Then after taking a blank wall and a plant, ann asked us to go to the 'thief market' to get something we thought was the coolest, with a budget of 2 bucks. Thing is, all the really cool stuff was way over $2. The dried fish was 13 bucks and the small, old fashion telescope was 25 bucks. In the end i got a gasing without the string, at $1 after much bargaining. Ok, i exaggerate, it was 2 bucks and all i said was "cheaper can?" Hahah. A rather pointless execise. But i missed the fact that we were supposed to take loads of photos there. Darn. I only took like 3. But at least, together with the previous day's shots, i finished 1 roll. So i guess i'm gonna have to develop that on tues... by then i'd have to have bought about 100 bucks worth of photog items. Half the roll is going to be either completely blurry or over or under exposed. And he gave us an assignment to take a surreal photo. God knows how i'm gonna do it without digital tweaking. Haiz. I'm hating this more and more.

Morbidity Exposed
4:03 PM