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Hear New. See New. Feel New. Saturday, April 29, 2006

Well, the N90 so far is kinda ok i guess. Um the image quality is better than the N70 although the latter has better video recording. The N90's macro is good and the screen is much brighter and more crisp, although its kinda laggy.. Although many say its too big, i love the way it feels, nestled in your hand... very secure.

I think the ad for the N91 is real nice, with all the tattoos and all, and its cool that the phone comes with senheiser headphones... which like cost over a hundred on their own. I think the N91 looks the best among all the other Nseries products.

I've just seen the new additions to the Nseries. For those who dont know the existing ones, besides the ones that have already been released, the N80 will be comin out soon, a thick, 3mp camera, slide phone that is kinda sexy. Then the N71, a rather unremarkable flip phone, and the N92, a tv enabled thing... really big screen, but the thing looks kinda ugly.

Ok, the N93 is somewhat a cross between the N90 and the N92. Its an imaging phone, 3.2mp, carl zeiss optics but the best part is that it actually has 3x optical zoom. Most phone cameras only have digital zoom. Awesome. In the looks department, its slightly better than the N92, and like the latter, has a 2.4 inch screen. The N72 is just like a jazzed up version of the N70, what they claim is more stylish... although the pink is fugly. Speaking of fugly, meet the N73, its so cheap-looking, like some siemens phone or something, and even they are improving. The front is like an uglier version of that white 02 phone, and the back is... well, just shabby. It sports carl zeiss optics, a 3.2 mp camera and a really big screen for a monoblock, non-pda phone.

Shake It Friday, April 28, 2006

Went to my ex school to collect my o'level cert yesterday, disturb ms chua and chew also, then went to my present school for a vsc briefing. I dont get one thing, don the lecturers need to be like highly educated to get that job? But a lot of them sound like they dropped out of school at primary 4. Maybe they were like math nerds or something, or like chinese educated, cause most of the art instructors i've met before, i've made fun and lauged at, for their speech... not in front of them o course.

So first we were given like these forms that gave license to the school to use our submitted artworks, and it was so boringly explained. Then the guy in charge of vsc started talking. He was wearing these weird pants. It was like long but not long enough, short, but you cant call them bermudas. Sy said it looked like he had a huge growth spurt overnight or something. He looked like those irritable sort of people, a bit mr teo-ish. Ouh when he asks if anyone has a question, he pronounces it 'kwayshen'. Then he introduced like other teachers, one was this gay guy with saggy cheeks who said to us 'i love you guys' or something. He reminds me of a granny somehow. Then this guy came up to tell us about his internship in sweden... its such a bitch that we have to pay our own air flight.

Then today was supposed to be like the rules and stuff and then this APEL thing which is kinda stupid. Its like some compulsory subject that first makes you get to know yourself, then others, then your community or shit like that. Stupid subject la. First different teachers came up to explain different parts of it but all they did was made me more confused. One idiot spoke so close to the mike he was almost beatboxing. Another guy had this whorrible centre parted flat hairstyle that looked like his heqad got spray-painted on. And the gay lecturer also had a part, and he pronounces olympics, "Lampiks". Then there was like the self reflection kinda thingies and like th feedback form for the camp is so much like all the other reflection crap pieces. Its like half the questions sound like gibberish and the other half have all the same answers. Hated it.

Then i had to go find someone in charge cause of problems with my timetable. See, for the 1st 2 months, i have class time from like 12-3, but i cant make it cause of like friday prayers. So instead of shifting stuff around, she said to just get permission from the lecturer to leave for an hour, then come back. Thats such crap la. Cant they just make the arrangement of class time for all the students such that the muslim guys can go pray and not miss out at the same time? Then wat? they're still gonna do it in the furture? even when my classes get increasingly important for me that it my jeopardise me getting my diploma? And no, i'm not getting melodramatic. Its so uninflated. I curse the fugly whores that made it such...hmm, hope they dont see this.

Morbidity Exposed
4:59 PM

Purple and Yellau Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Today was supposed to be some ceremony/briefing thing in sch. Arrived slightly late. It started with 3 performances. 1st was this guy who sang kinda weirdly, or maybe just the song was weird. Quite good la. Then there was this beat boxer. At some parts i was amazed, others i was laughing hysterically. Its like some of the sounds he makes sounds so like the original instruments, like the drums, and it was really cool wen he sang as well, it sounded like he had two mouths or something. Then the parts that showed he wasnt that pro, the disc-spinning sound and his very queer, deep 'beep' thing, sounded like constipation and diorrhea combined. Then came this band, 'base fish' or something. They played well, but the lead singer had a strange quality to his voice. At the low parts it was ok, then wen he went real high, sy said it was like hearing someone commiting suicide. But really it did sound like that, kinda nasal as well.

Then was the boring prize giving, and an even more torturous speech from moses. I mean seriously, how much crap does he have stored. Something thats supposed to be a moving speech, turns into a lecture that i dont learn anything from. And he keeps doing this stupid of like asking us to tell the person sitting beside you some crap phrase, like... I'm high class... or something. And he doesnt just go forward, he keeps like going back to previous slides and sayin them again, and each point is freakin long winded. I soo pity his future grandson man. And his catch phrase, "are you with me?" I am so not anywher near you man.

After that buttcramp-causing speech, we had to sing like this monotonous song, and even though it was simple, both the guys on the mikes were out of tune, one being moses. Then came the school song. Or one of the two school songs. Doesnt matter cause both suck. Ok, you know how bad national day parade songs can be rite? well, these are like 5 times worse. It sounds, like sy said, some political voting thingie or watever. I mean, we're like 17, 18, 19 and even 20. Those kind of songs are even below 12. Hi-5 comes up with way better stuff, and they're only singing to kindergarteners. Ok, then after snacking on the free food, we went to see the cca display. I thought of joining adventure club, but ah heck, schoolwork is already gonna swallow half my life. Better just concentrate on that. If i want exercise, i'll just go jogging in the evenings. Or buy weights or something. Ouh, and i saw this guy with an afro. AN AFRO! Its self explanatory, dun need to insult further.

Morbidity Exposed
4:48 PM

Twist Your Torso Monday, April 24, 2006

Look wat I just got.



Whee! Ok you may think I'm rich but i'm soo not. Guess how much i got it for. Only $288! Like O My God. Thats completely sexay. That's cheaper than wat i got my N70 for. How you might ask? Well, with a normal starhub plan, its $588. Since my dad's plan is the more ex one, its $488. And also, he had a 200 buck voucher. Voila! High end phone for a low low price.

The service at starhub was bad. It wa like more than an hour from the time we started talkin to the customer service guy to the time we said goodbye. Ouh, and i saw this jewish guy. A first i might add. He was like wearing a black suit with this black hat like the canadian police and a full beard. And i noticed that singaporeans are very unconcerned people. Cause like the fire alarm came on, and the announcement said dont panic, they're investigating. But no one cared or even heard i think. Its like no one showed the slightest signs of panic, and they keep repeating 'please remain calm'. And at last they announced it was a false alarm and sorry for the inconvenience. I think the only inconvenience caused was by the extra noise the announcer was making.

Morbidity Exposed
7:27 PM

Er... Scared Anot Saturday, April 22, 2006

Well, orientation camp is just over,4 days, 2 nights. This post is gonna be really long, i can feel it. I'm gonna screw up some chronology, but bear with me.

Day 1

It was a really shitty morning. I had gotten only like 2 hours of sleep the night before. I tried to do my hair up, the real high one, but because my fringe was thinned, it turned out like crap. So like just before i left the house, i drenched my head and tried to do something normal... couldnt get it right cause my cuz had to use the flat iron. And the way to pp to meet yk and sy, i got a headache and felt like puking.

Then wen we got to sch, we found out that we were gonna be like really separated. See, there are like 4 or 5 'empires' and within that, 3 'sub empires'. My empire was Fuego and my sub was Eden. There were really weird other names, dunno how they cmae up with them. Anyways, wen we sat in the audi, i found that 3 of my pri sch frens were in the same empire as moi. Jeremy, benjamin and wei jie... or joshua as he's liked to be called now. Some host on stage was like really retarded, a lot of silly antics. Another one reminded me of pierre png. There was this thing where they got some freshies(as the seniors called us) to answer questions and ones that got it right could smash an egg on one of another 3 senior's heads. Some stupid questions la, one being 'wat is 's name. But it was real cool. There were those who like cracked it on the floor before pouring the contents on one's head while others just smashed it on, yolk and white flying everywhere. The cheers they taught seemed really silly and i was thinkin 'the only way i'd be doing that is if i'm like really drunk' Then there was this guy, moses somethin, says he's friendly and stuff but you can tell he's otherwise. And he keeps sayin "are you with me?" I dunno, somehow i don really like him, like his friendliness is very plastic.
He made this super long annoying pep talk, like he was accusing us or something.

After that we like got into our subs at the sports complex and did our intros, played some rather lame games. I didnt keep the nonchalant act i was supposed to portray, somehow. Darn. One of our 3 group leaders had like one and a half thumbs on her right hand. Then wen we went to collect some 'prox card' and met the guy, clarence, whom i saw before while selling bedsheets. Its so coincidental that he's in the same course as me. Thats how small sg is. Met a Wen How(is that how its spelled?), an Amanda(reminded me of lluvy), a Jen and a Jocelyn. The latter two whine my name everytime they see me over the next few days. Then we had these like station games. The 1st 1 was that all of us were given cards randomly, each labelled a body part, and join with the body part of the card assigned to another person. Too bad there wasnt something like right hand to chest or left had to right butt cheek. I had my arms on someones shoulder and two people's thumbs on that arm. so in this grotesque mass, we had to like move a distance of like 5 metres. It was tiring. Then there was this game where we were supposed to pass down boob implants(i mean water baloons) down the stairs, only using pieces of cloth. I was like jinxed. One balloon bounced down 3 steps but only broke wen it touched my foot. The next game was we had to collect water bags that with plastic bags tied to our backs, while we were bombarded from the level above. I cheated, cause like one fell to the ground but didnt burst, so i picked it up, put it in the bag and got out. Whee.

By the end of that day, i met a few people. Alan, who later i found out is 23, Jun Ming a tak lungish person called Ron, Hafiz who lives like 3 blocks away from me, Bernard, Darryl and Siti, a very enthu scarved girl.

Day 2

The second day started with a talk about some block teaching thing. Like instead of 2 semesters, the school year will be broken up into 12 months. Each month 2 modules. Its good because there'll be less rushing for projects. Its bad because like, i wont get to know anyone very well. It takes me some time to totally warm up to someone and suddenly we'll split classes. At least in six months i can make a best friend. 1 month is ridiculous. Cause i prefer quality to quantity.

We had this mass dance thing and i had to dance with Kim. So not my taste. And then there was this singing session with moses, and he picked out this guy, Joel, who came at 7.15 that day even though the reporting time was 9. Wah, over enthu. Anyways, there was this rather boring song we have to sing with him next tues, the chorus sounds like the verses. Then we had more station games. First one we had to elephant walk with cups of water in our mouths to transfer to a pail and wen they give a signal, we're supposed to keep completely still but somehow i moved and they rubbed toothpaste on on one leg and tiger balm on another. Then the next one split and had to build as many sandcastles as possible in 2 mins then bombard the other team's one with water bombs. But i was too enthu in building that i hit the edge of the pail too hard and my thumb started bleeding. The next game was kinda stupid wher we get the names of characters stuck on our backs and we have to find out wat it is by askin yes and no qns, then find the other character that pairs up with yours. Only, most people cheated. I found out mine when the group behind me told me that i'm the prettiest of them all. And another kinda lame game kinda Twister-ish except with a bucket of water. Then as we had dinner, Alan and were arguing with some others... religion versus science... him being the sceptical one.

Then we had this sign language session with this middle aged lady who had short hair but a long, thin braided pigtail that looked like a toilet chain and i felt like yanking it. We had to sign the school song(which sounded like shyt) and the only sign i remember is 'society' while 'adore' was turned into a bad word and 'dreams' became brain dead. Then later were told some ghost stories about the school and this girl from my sub actually cried listening to them. Then some guy made up some events in the past about people dying durin the night walk... which we had after that. People with a history of heart problems had to wear a red band on their sleeve. So anyway, because i had made her laugh a lot earlier in the day, Gladys had chosen me to partner with(cause like the guys had to ensure the girls didnt freak out, but the number of guys were half the number of girls so most of the other guys just circulated). In my opinion, she's the best looking in my sub. I'm lucky. Wahaha. So like she held my hand most of the time(hey, its a big deal since i was stuck in a boys school for 10 years) and one time when there was this 'ghost' at her side she like huddled real close to me with her head on the front of my shoulder. Ok i know she doesnt mean it that way but it still felt good. It was also nice wen the girl behind me huddled real close as well. There were ghosts, like the guy with the balloon in his face(i was itching to pop it), the retarded psycho girl under the table, the two children in some corner(wonder wher they got them from), some black figure at the staircase, a guy in orange who had a tiring job of nodding and praying to a dustbin and had painted red cheeks like pikachu, and two goths. There were also retarded people, 2 counting stairs, one speaking bad english, one being a bitch by an elevator and one hiding her face behind a magazine... bad self esteem i'm guessing.

Then wen we got back to the room we were supposed to sleep at, all 20+ of us, 2 seniors told us we had to move, cause there was an aricon leak in the middle of the room, but after that, me and my sub guys begged to be let back cause like there were so few of us, we could just avoid it. So yeah, we went back in then some other people came back also, tg not all. Then after a bath, went to sleep. Ron snored really louldly, like you know wen we fake snore? he sounded like that. I recorded it on my phone. I dunno how to put it here, so ask me wen you see me.

Day 3

Ok then in the mornin we started preparin for performance night and started making our t-shirt design thingie. It was gonna be this multi-coloured phoenix which had a tail of vines and flowers ala L'Amour collection. It sounds tacky, but it turned out nice in the end. Well, anyway, i was supposed to do a solo on an air guitar for the performance. Dunno why i didnt resist the time i was assigned. Ouh yeah... i didnt know i was gonna be solo. I thought i'd just be be one of the percussion guys. Ouh, and i was also gonna be the guy to explain the rationale of the t-shirt, so i came up with some good bullshit, the kind that got me my a2 for comb humans. Then we had this briefing in the LT and this girl suddenly just started havin a seizure. It looked so scary. Jerking and jerking, paused after awhile, then started writhing and making noises, very emily rose. Its like i've seen fainting before, but not this. Then we went to collect our matric cards. My pic turned out ok i guess.

Then after many practice sessions and dinner, we went to the audi and i and the t-shirt model had to go backstage. She supposedly had been a part-time model, did some runways and bridal shoots, but to me, well, she wasnt model material. At all. Sorry. I mean she had an ok body i guess, maybe thats y i stuttered on the word metamorphosis when she slid her leg between mine during my speech. We were supposed to be the most professional one. But after that,and the fact that my voice sounded weird on the mike, i don think so. This is bad... the girls are getting too comfortable with me. I dont always wanna be 'just a friend'. Then we saw some other groups perform, one was particularly funny and had a guy pole dancin... another guy bein the pole. Then it was our turn. I went out there, strut like i meant it, even though i was quivering inside. Then after the 1st cheer, i jumped forward, made my first "jang" and looked arrogantly at the crowd. Then one of our GL's rushed out and held the mike out for me, as if an adoring fan, while i did my thang, doing it very enthu-ly starting out normal at first, then going to falsetto ending with a very high pitched "WAA!" Then retreated backwards and joined the rest for the remaining parts. It went well, we weren't one of the worst. Sy's group was bad though. And this gay guy kept making these girly poses on stage. The girls beside him looked way manlier. Sy told me he always hangs with two girls and bitch a lot, speakin in false slangs like total american bimboes. We called them the plasics, the guy being 'Gretchen' and the 'Karen' is really dumb. 'Regina' is a super bitch, rolling her eyes a lot, and muttering curses under her breath. I thought the guy was chinese at first, untill a guy i went with to the mosque the next day told me he's malay.

Anyway, after that, we all proceeded to this certain, rather small place outside the LTs wher they made it up like a club, coverin the lights with purple cellophane, they had lasers, multicolored light beams, huge speakers and even a smoke machine. Dunno wher they got these Singh DJs from. So i started out outside the mass at the back and slowly made my way in while dancing. Joshua and hafiz were with me but the latter left quite early. I couldnt find Gladys. Then sy turned up, and we danced a lot. I saw this guy GL who looked like he was on ecstacy or somethin. The place really reeked of body odours and sweaty people were all around. But i stayed cause it was like my first disco experience and probably my last. Songs like L.O.V.E, my humps and Beep came out and i sang/shouted and danced, emphasising some parts. The flashing lights were really cool, it made the scene looke like it was a movie but they were playing the frames too slowly. There were times wen like everyone was jumping and raising their hands and like singing together. Saw jeremy really enjoyin himself and Mr 7.15 was in fron of me with the girl who looks like she dyed her hair pink and orange and slapped a badly cut, short black wig on top. The whole thing was over by 12.15, even though lights-out time was 2.

Its a pretty blurry pic, but its the best i could do. Got a vid tho.

Went back to the room, saw the boring ppl who left the dance early, got my stuff and went to bathe. Then there i saw Mr 7.15 and he asked me somethin like 'wad do you actually do on the dance floor'. I guess he didnt know i was a 1st timer. Good that i didnt look out of place. But people barely notice how other people move in discos... not that we could dance that much anyway, very cramped. Wen i got back to the room, jeremy came and started acting like a complete moron. I could see Wen How giving that look. The i'm-smiling-politely-even-though-i-think-youre-a-stupid-jerk-cause-i almost-felt-embarrassed-for you look. Or maybe he's just really nice and patient. But i really know that look wen i see it. I've done it a million times. I was of course being bitchy, sayin wat i felt, things like 'while people lose their wallets at clubs, you lost your sanity' cause he was really behaving more annoyin and retarded than usual. Cause like once i said he was annoyin and he asked me why, i gave some reasons, but not many examples. Well, here's a major one for you byotch. Then the fat, thick-skinned ass like brought all his stuff over to our room. I and a few others wer like 'get out' but he stayed. I really dont get people who comes to people who dont want him there. Its just being stupid. I wouldnt have said anything if he hadnt slept there. But well. Anyway, the religion vs science debate started up and now wen how also joined in. It wasnt the fact that he opposed religion that made me dislike him... alan i mean. Believe wat you wanna believe, but dont come out and start trying to impose your stuff on others. The thing that made me dislike him more was the way he argued. As in like h looked and sounded so stubborn and arrogant and was behaving and sounding like we were total idiots, believeing in god. I mean like benji and wen how were arguing too, but nothing like him. After saying some stuff, i couldnt stand him, and left, also since jeremy had joined him too. I only came back later, after it stopped. By the time i could actually fall asleep above all of ron's snoring, it was like 3+

Day 4

Got up at 7.45, went to brush my teeth, change, gel my hair, pack then went for the final cheering session before the clash with the other schools. As we cheered, it seemed that we all changed from the 1st day. We were all out yelling, and doing all the silly actions that came with it. Then after that was lunch, but i and the other malay guys went to the mosque. And wen we came back had our lunch... ouh yeah... havent bitched about the food they gave yet. Ok, the cateen foods are good, but they provided like one free meal per day at camp. And it was lousy. The rice was like that cheap type and it was so tasteless, and they didnt even give enough gravy. The dishes were edible la. Nothin as bad as the sec 3 camp- the fried chicken wings that still had feathers. So we went to the stadium, wearing both t-shirts(we were supposed to wear one on top of the other then strip it off in front of the other schools) but the rest had already done it, so the like 10 of us went out on the track and just stripped, cheered, then went back in. There was this like 4 sided volleyball game, only the ball was like an 8-feet-in diameter beachball. Then there was this race where the people on one side had to dribble a soccer ball to a 'model' on a stool that was supposed to put on wat the dribblers bring... makin a superhero. Ours was 'Gretchen' and his voice was damn bad on the mike. Then i saw joel and told me he participated in some sarong thing, asked wat i was in. Nothin of course and then he asked y not i go for the dragon boat one, cause they still had spots left. Anyone whose anyone who knows me would have laughed at that suggestion. With my stick thin arms? no way. Sy did however, stuck out a little cause the rest were like damn muscly. Then we made our way there, with dustbin lids in our hands, and i found out the only reason Mr 7.15 got to school so early was couse his dad sent him and had to catch a flight. Our holiday jobs were totally different. He like worked for his mom's friend designing web pages or somethin while i was only selling bedsheets and he wen he was talkin to a senior, he said he was familiar with photoshop and illustrator. Its like i've never tried either of them before. Crap. I bet i'm like the only 1% of the people in vsc who doesnt know any of those kind of programmes. I feel very bimbotic. Anyways, we didnt win, business did, and it won best spirited. We only won the cheerleading. There was this GL girl who was cryin a whole lot cause of that.

Then we went back to school, gathered in the place we practiced our cheers earlier, moses gave us a pep talk, then all the people who like organised the thing threw water at us from the upper levels. At first i was avoiding, then i was like, ah heck, its the last day so i was pretty drenched by the time i got back to the room. Got my bags, took a cab home with sy. Pretty shagged.

Morbidity Exposed
3:37 PM

I'll have a glass of self-esteem, please... Monday, April 17, 2006

Change. Its inevitable. You can welcome it. Fear it. Hate it. Even try to avoid it. But it always knocks on your door. Sometimes you may not hear it, other times it blows your eardrums.

I started this very loveable, naive boy in kindergarten who loved to sing and the whole school knew about it. I was really knowledgeable for my age... aboust animals only of course... cause when i kissed that girl in nursery, she cried. I was very social, outspoken, even once my aunt got called up by another parent cause i was threatening her son or something. Imagine me, a bully. Wahaha.

Then i was this talkative, innocent child in primary school. My bug-catching regime was in full force. Like in primary one, i dragged my p5 'buddy' all around the field during recess. And in p4 when i caught my 1st tarantula in the science garden. Or that time when everyone was running away from a bronzeback at the fence, i was running towards it. I was known almost throughout the school for it. I was never good or interested in sports. Like when there was soccer during p.e, i and jeremy would just talk beside the goalpost... even if he was from another team... but i did save one or 2 goals... while not meaning to of course. I was a ball magnet. Then from being a bully in kindergarten, to being bullied in p5 and p6. I started being bad at math. I once banged my head on a microphone on stage over and over, way too melodramatic if you ask me, cause i forgot my lines. Storytelling competition. I somehow entered the next year again(yeah... i'm a bimbo) but won. I started sneaking off to that secluded forested place across the road from school, my new hideout and bug-catching heaven. My two best friends would follow me there sometimes, even though jeremy got bitten way too much by mosquitoes, and was kinda scared of bugs. And i usually picked on omar. Maybe thats why i havent kept in touch with him. But he himself has changed, went to normal... mixed around with rowdy people. And jeremy doesnt cry like he used too. I was in this school play, as this vain red bird, and we even performed in front of the then prime minister, goh chok tong. I was kinda good at studies i guess, topped my class in psle.

Then into sec school. I hoped that i could start over, you know, not get teased and bullied again. Unfortunately, it happened. And since i was older, more aware of my surroundings, it hit me a lot harder. I was almost made the decision to change school in sec two, untill ms chua talked me out of it. I made two new best friends. Although one sorta, well, lets say we arent at all close now. We never got into a rifting fight or watever, he just drifted off. But well, you could say i would never have made it through sec school, and still remained sane, if it werent for sy. He was like my counselor or something. Giving me advice and encouragement and stuff. Of course we did fight. Like a few times that lasted at most a few days. But after a rather long one at the start of sec 3, we just didnt have those anymore. I guess we matured thats all. And yes we both changed a lot in those 4 years. I actually played soccer sometimes. Making some saves that made me feel kinda proud... the rookie that i am. Of course i once got rammed in the face, accidentally of course, and boy did it hurt. I hated orientation camp but loved the sec 3 camp. Joined the art club, became the chairman of debate club, got top 17th speaker in sg in 2004, but because of some screwup of the old teacher in charge, my trophies are missing.

Continued to sing a lot. Won the school talent show like 3 years in a row. Although i did really badly last year. I feel miserable every time i watch that video. Anyways i grew slightly less insecure, a lot taller and way much vainer and materialistic. I took on another obsession, handphones, in sec 3. Although i did have some pretty neat animals, two snakes, some lizards, a scorpion, some birds(bought, not caught). My studies seemed to get worse... esp in sec 3. I felt like i was totally useless, at least before i could hold on to my academics. Even my eng was slipping. Then i reclaimed my english cause my essays were getting good. sec Sec four was a good year. I felt really comfortable, besides the huge workload and exams of course. But i mean i felt, however minutely, accepted.


my class at grad dinner


Sec 3 art class

And now i'm going on to something completely different. And i cant help but worry. About what? Well, i'm not sure i can cope with the workload. I don wanna be one of those who become delinquent-ish in poly. And also i'm scared of the people. Like how they're gonna see me. There is no way i wanna get ratted on again. I wanna be cool. I don wanna be the one sucking up to other people. I don wanna be the one who gets stepped on. Today i found out that the orientation has an overnight camp. Besides the fact that people are gonna see my hair undone(trust me, it looks fugly if it isnt blow-dried or flat ironed or hairsprayed. I'm gonna have to settle for a bottle of loreal water-o, so i can just sleek it back), I feel vunerable, like the camp will bring out stuff in me i'm not ready to show yet. I guess thats the purpose rite... ice breaking. But still, i'm not ready for people to see my insides... or like that dream i had wher my towel fell and everyone saw me naked. The whole being yourself thing is a luxury very few people can afford. And i'm not one of them. Well this is it. Tomoro will be the debut of me in a new environment, to people who could potentially be my friends or enemies. Wish me luck.

Morbidity Exposed
4:41 PM

Pretty Ugly Saturday, April 15, 2006

I just watched the re-run of miss singapore universe 2006. There was just so much injustice, i have to complain. The evening dresses were ugly. Very amaturish. Like the designer should be shot. I mean they were not like outrageously ugly but for such a 'prestigious' event, a better job should have been done. But well, the ugly dresses matched the ugly people.

More than half the top ten were ugly. As in like... "U.G.L.Y, you ain't got no alibi, you uglay. Heh. Heh. You uglay." There were like 3 or 4 who were mildly pretty, but the rest reeked. Well, it was the 1st question round. Contestant no.1, wasnt one of the real ugly ones. But she spoke like she just picked up english last week. One contestant who talked about beauty and brains, did not have evidence of the latter. Some spoke with flawed tenses. Others with weirdly pronounced words. One who supported the polytechnic girl porn video. Perhaps she's a pornstar and she feels the need to defend her field. One of the indian girls had a rqather good answer but the other one(hte prettier one) had a weird of speaking. And i dont get why they got that blind beggar...oops, i mean busker that resides in the orchard met underpass, to ask the question. And he asked something like, singaporeans just go about their business so quickly and are always busy, dou you think they sould slow down to take in some music?...or something to that effect. But i think he means, shouldnt you all just stop and throw cash into my collecting bin?

Anyway, at top 5, they were asked about the notion that foreign men are more attractive than local men. Honestly, who comes up with these questions. Well anyway, all said they prefer local guys. I bet most of them were lying. One said she preferred local guys cause all her exes are local, pudgy, mildly ugly but nice. But i mean it seems like from the 1st 3 criteria, she would be deterred from sg guys. And if they're so nice, why didja break up with them huh? Bimbo. Well, the only reason the notion exists is cause we see less foreign guys and more local guys... so that it seems like ang moh's are better looking. But come on, i bet the west has their own fair share of ugly people. Take 50 cent for example. I bet he didnt become a boxer even though he wanted to, because he couldn't afford to be injured and become uglier. But yeah, it does seem like all the pan asian guys are good looking. And so are most of the pan asian girls. Haiz... how can sg guys like us compare to people like that winner of cleo's most eligible bachelor, this year and last. And how can sg girls compare to people like denise keller. Ouh... and i was watching charlie's angels full throttle last night, and lucy liu is decidedly hot.

Ouh yeah... i forgot to say in the previous post... i got my the back of my hair shortened and my fringe thinned. Then after dyeing my hair i went all the way to simei to see my grandfather(mom's father... dad's father passed away few years ago) in hospital. Then one of my cousins was there, she's pan asian, married, and just gave birth like 5 months ago. See, unlike my stepmom, she didnt really grow that fat in the tummy area after pregnancy. She used to be as a child, but then later she lost a lot of weight. And now, her ass is huge. Its like out of place. It like doesnt fit the rest of her body. I mean its not that she's skinny, but her ass is like massive. I mean besides the fact that its kinda wide, cause the width is kinda normal, but it protrudes outward so much... as if shes like deliberately sticking it out... except she's not. I mean its like a hump on a camel. The camel's not fat like an elephant, but the hump sticks out... just like my cousin's ass. Ok, i know i sound really evil, i mean she's really nice and all, a cat lover, and i always have a nice time talking to her. But still. Anyways, back to my grandpa, he cant eat, so he has like three of those drip things, two are sodium chloride and one is potassium chloride. What about sugar though?

Anyways, after that i travelled clear across singapore to chua chu kang for my ex-school's rugby match. I arrived rather late. And then there was this guy i know who told me to take 172 to the place. There was some confusion whether it was a stadium or a police academy. Then i saw his two brothers and mom at the station... also goin to the game, and unfortunately for me, i followed them and they screwed up directions and by the time we actually got to the game... there was only like 10 mins left. Our side won. thank god. Otherwise i would have been pretty pissed having to travel to far for a loss. Well, took bus home... feeling car sick halfway through... with karim ranting on the story of angels and demons. And the ride was really long, so wen we got off, i very nearly puked. I think it must be the hair dye. Cause like i've read before on the back of a dye box that you shouldnt do it if it gives you headaches or wadev. And i've experienced it before... but just didnt want to mention to my aunt or else she would have forbidden this time. Well, i still have a headache... hope it goes away by tues... along with these two nasty pimples ant the side of my nose.

Morbidity Exposed
9:33 PM

Echinococcus Cannibilus Thursday, April 13, 2006

Went for another loner movie trip on monday. Watched ultraviolet at the new cathay cinema. The building was ok i guess and the elevators were super smooth and futuristic looking. The place was kinda normal i guess but instead of normal movie posters, they had digital ones. And there was this shop that sold movie memorabillia and another that sold kachang puteh. Then because i sort of got the message that we werent supposed to bring any food at all into the theatre, i went to go eat popcorn chicken at kfc before the movie only to see that quite a few other people were bringing popcorn and drinks in. The best thing about the whole place is the toilets. The sinks are so uber sexy. Instead of curvatures where the sinks are supposed to be, theres only a square 1cm depression on the long, singular slanting inwards piece of black marble.


The movie was awesome, the cinematography, the fight scenes, the gagets. I loved her color-changing outfits, her bracelets that were able to store infinite amounts of matter, this thig that alters gravity so she can walk on walls or the ceiling or allow her to drive her bike on the side of buildings, the public phone that issued a piece of paper that you fold into a disposable cellphone. However the way the story progressed was kinda weird and quite a few things were kinda confusing and unexplained. And i dont get how the swords could catch fire in the end. I mean they're metal rods. They dont catch fire. At most they turn red hot. But thats it.

The movie was similar to this book i just read, in that vampires arent magical creatures, but just infected by a disease that increases human abilities. But the diff is ultraviolet's is a human created virus and the book is a very old and long prevailing parasite, way before black death. And also, the books one are closer to real vampires in that the infected tend to hate sunlight and kill other people and live for hundreds of years. The thing is, the parasite messes with your brain, but since it needs the host, keeps it alive for as long as possible, up to a few centuries... and also gives you superhuman abilities, as a cited example that a mother saving her baby could lift a car, its all in the head. And in the book, there are two strains, one where the infected are insane and one wher the infected are sane... the latter being the older. The myths of vampires hating cricifixes came about cause of this thing called anathema... where the infected person starts to hate all the things he used to love, and since many were religious, they hated crucifixes and since the sun is so familiar, they turn to hate it as well. And it seems garlic and mandrake root seems to supress the insanity in the more sane strain. Well anyway, the book is real cool and every even numbered chapter has facts about a particular totally weird and disgusting parasite. Take the guinea worm, that can be found in ponds, and if you happen to drink the water, they get into your stomach. Then i makes its way into one of your legs and sends out chemicals to evade your immune system. There, it grows to about 2 feet long and gives birth. The babies set of your immunes sytem and your leg starts to swell and gets blisters and in the old days, people would relieve the feeling bu dipping their lags in a pond and the babies just swim out of the blisters. The adult however has to be carefully drawn out. It used to be slowly pulled out by wrapping it on a stick, a process that took like 7 days... otherwise it would just break and the half thats left inside you rots, causes infection and you die. So the whole thing wrapped on a stick used to be displayed by doctors... like some accomplishment, and thats how the medical symbol of the snake around the stick came about. And malaria is caused by a parasite called plasmodium that takes over your blood cells. Here's some others you should check out. Vandellia cirrhosa, Toxoplasma gondii, Dicroelium dendriticum, and Wolbachia that the filarial worm caries that makes you go blind and dominates over many insect species.
And theres actually a disease you get from a lack of parasites, Crohn's disease. Severe stomach pains and diorrhea. Only found in 1st world countries where there is clean dinking water. Because of the lack of parasites, your immune system becomes paranoid and attack your digestive system.

Lesson over. Well, i dyed my hair at the jean yip academy at united square. 30 bucks for cut and dye. Real cheap. However i didnt get the color i wanted... which was this kind of dark blondish, greyish brown that i pointed out in a magazine and they identified it as ash. But they said i couldnt get that unles i bleached my whole head. And that would cost extra. So i asked, couldnt they get like a darker version of that without the bleaching and they said yes. But somehow, after waiting for half an hour with the cold dye on my head, then another 20 minutes with the blue, ice-cold dye paste and i turn out like a relative of the golden lion marmoset. As in most parts are dark brown, but other parts is this orangish kinda gold color. But well i dont totally despise it. I'll put up a pic as soon as i take one.

Morbidity Exposed
2:50 PM

Catatonia Saturday, April 08, 2006

The Noose by A Perfect Circle

So glad to see you well
Overcome and completely silent now
With heaven's help
You cast your demons out
And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you off your cloud
But I'm more than just a little curious
How you're planning to go about
Making your amends to the dead
To the dead

Recall the deeds as if
They're all someone else's
Atrocious stories
Now you stand reborn before us all
So glad to see you well

And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you to the ground
But I'm more than just a little curious
How you're planning to go about
Making your amends to the dead
To the dead

With your halo slipping down
Your halo slipping
Your halo slipping down
Your halo slipping down
Your halo slipping down

Your halo slipping down to choke you now

Its a nice song... and the lyrics seem to mean something. Anyways its been a very sluggish few days. I've been watching loads of tv and feeling lazy to get up and do anything else... even to go pee. Havent even been going out much. So yesterday i went to toa payoh library to go return books and borrow sumore... but i dont read during the day. I usually start reading at like 10 or 11p.m. and go on for like about 3 hours, accompanied by a jug of milk and various snacks. If my metabolism werent so high, i'd be fat. And i dont even exercise. I have such bad stamina... and i've even lost most of my flexibility. I used to be able to put both legs behind my head but now, even one pains me. Dang. Well, hopefully the start of school will oil my gears and get me productive once more, bring me out of my thousand year... i mean 4 month, slumber.

Morbidity Exposed
8:12 PM

Soo Ga Tuesday, April 04, 2006

I was just watching this really whorrible cooking show on channel 5, Nancy Lam. Oh my, wher do i begin to criticise her. Ok, she's this fat auntie-looking chinese woman who has red dye patches in her hair. She wears this fugly pair of glasses and she probably shops at that auntie department store(i wonder if you've seen it before... theres one outside tampines mrt, a big clothes store that caters only to tacky aunties). She's married to some african looking guy, and somehow i think she stays somewhere in europe... cause of the friends she has over at the end. Well, i've saved the best for last, her speech. Its not only what she says, but also how she says it. Put easily in one sentence- She sounds a 5yr old from hong kong who's trying to impress the queen of england. Ok, what she says is indicative of of typical uneducated middle aged women who are abundant in sg. Perfectly broken english... almost like a real-life, female version of pck. To add to that, her hongky accent is infused with british slang... its like she's trying desperately to sound english, but is failing miserably. And when she speaks, she keeps that same retarded smiling expression and never changes it, like some botox gone wrong. Ok,ok, i know i'm evil, but better out than in.

Well, ive been reading my old posts. Some particularly exhausting to read. I seemed so busy back then, rushing here and there. Lots of problems and stress. But i'm gonna save the words of reflection for the end of the week, an extra long post about moving on and remeniscing. Cause the 1st reporting day is on the 10th. Then orientation is on the 18th. I've decided not to go for the optional overnight camp even though i might make some good friends there.

Morbidity Exposed
12:36 PM

Lifestyles of the Rich and the Bitchy Saturday, April 01, 2006

Well yesterday i went for the Topshop Unique/Topman Design fashion show at ngee ann city. I got back from friday prayer kinda late cause of my dad, so i was short of time. I had to look awesome and get there real early if i wanted good seats. So i did my hair up real high,

wore my sexy sunglasses, my black jacket over my metal studded, green zara t-shirt, with my torn jeans and my black high-cut converses. The whole outfit cost like $275. I know that sounds very over... but heck... the minimalist look was so last week. Anyways, i knew if i took the bus or train that i would be late, so i took a cab. I know it sounds like a very splurgy affair but i just got my allowance so heck. Well, 10 mins after i arrived, the queue formed. And i wasnt one of the first, but still decent placing. There were some who looked filthy rich and others who wore like shorts and flip flops. I mean, who knows, they could just be rich with no idea of how and when to dress up.

So anyway, after a long while, we got in, i was in the second row, near the end of the runway. Well, the show was pretty good i would say. The clothes were nice and the models were hot. Although there was this one asian girl who looked like she yould fall ove any minute. She walked with her upper body leaned back so far, it almost defied the laws of physics. And for the guys, their hair looked like a pantene ad. And there was this one maroon shirt/jacket-like thingie that looked really nice. Too bad my phone camera wasnt good enough to take photos of the models... they looked way too bright. But i did take a real good vid of the ending... when they all came out at once. But i dunno how to put it here. Anyways, as soon as that was over i tried to rush out as quickly as possible to get to the after party... i bet they cant fit everyone there so i had to be kiasu. I walked there real fast, big quick strides. Then because the 1st level entrance was closed, we al just passed through this other boutique to get into wisma... the salesguy at the door looked bewildered. Anyways, i was one of the 1st to reach there.



So we went in got our goody bags and started walking around. And since i couldnt drink the free alcohol(bacardi-ish bottles in ice, and if i could, i would have gotten myself drunk cause there was nobody to accuse me of underage drinking) I just pigged out on the chips(chachos) Its like i would take one, walk away and come back for another one. Everytime i met a snack table, i would take one. So half the time there was spent eating chips and drinking unchilled diet coke. There were quite a few gays but only one butch. Ouh... and i got my very 1st manicure. The girl told me i already had nice nails and asked if i'd done them before. I'd take that as a complement. I know that could just be baseless flattery but she did tke a lot less time for me than the guy before me. Anyways, it didnt turn out as shiny as expected. Even my cousin does it better. There was also free massages and eyebrow plucking... even for guys but that is going way over the line. Then i found that top i liked on the runway and it was 183 bucks. Expected... but such a pity. So anyway, in the goodybag was 2 10 buck voucers, one for topshop, one for topman, female magazine, phone strap and a spa voucher. So i used the topman voucher and got myself a cap... for bad hair days. Then went home.

Morbidity Exposed
5:11 PM