Lonesome Indulgences
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Well, i spent another bad valentine's day...alone. I mean i was supposed to have plans cause like qiang was free and dan was most likely free. Then yesterday i managed to get sy to be able to come as well. That was at like 4.30. The plan was a singles outing for dinner then chilling at starbucks. Then , at like 5, qiang got daniel to tell me that he had other plans. WTF! He already knew we had plans and also he was one of the 1st in for it and he bailed. And of course dan is very against small group outings so he wouldnt come. So i decided to just cancel it since sy and dan were already out with other friends. So, i made it seem to my aunt that it was still on... cause i already slopped on hair wax and considering the effort it would take to wash off, it would be a major waste if i just stayed home.
So i went at like 7.30 alone... pissed in general... with a little emphasis on qiang. So i walked around a while and bumped into jerrold... who was with some outside school friend. Then i like had dinner at kfc cause i got the coupon from my cuzzin. Then walk sumore. I found this really hot jacket... another contender. It looked pretty normal, but it felt so luxurious. Real suede. Running my hands over it was complete ecstacy. And its also $99, like the other 2. Well, anyway, time went by quite quickly, and it was already like 9+. Went to spotlight to look around, got my cuz something cause she's migrating to the US on friday. Afterwards i went to starbucks, bought myself a slice of cheesecake and hot cocoa. Thougt about stuff. I mean why was i so pissed to be alone on valentines day. I mean i didnt need a girl... just anyone. Any company. But no. Alone. So pissed not only because i had no one with me yesterday... i mean i'm like so insignificant. Its like i'm always the one who has to sms someone else, or ask out other people. Its like i'm so pathetic and unpopular that nobody bothers. I'm not askin to be worshipped, but for once it would be nice if other people wanted my company instead of me askin for theirs. Everyone seems to have their own plans and groups and i just feel so left out and alone. It sucks cause i'm not one of those nerds who are content playin computer games at home. I'm a very socially oriented person so its worse. It sucks that i have to depend on others for joy. Especially when they dont accomodate. I wish i could be a happy hermit. But no. So my silver lining will be poly. Hopefully i'll meet new, better friends.
Anyways... by the end of the cheescake i felt pretty nauseous so i didnt finish the cocoa. Went home, watched Charmed, then ate chocolate while i watched 'the wedding planner' on vcd. A nice way to end off a sour day.
Morbidity Exposed
7:56 PM
