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Two of Me Thursday, July 28, 2005

I had the most emotionally exhausting encounter today. OK so i went to toa payoh central after art to go and get presents for john and chun leung, and also maybe to get a new handphone with the 3230 in mind. So after gettin the presents at popular, i scoured the whole central, lookin for great deals. Early on, i spotted this 2nd hand 7280 at $490. I walk sumore (ouh i saw this cool new black 7270)...and after much thought i went back to that shop to make the exchange. The guy took it out and put the sim card in and handed it to me. I took like half an hour to transfer pics and vids from my phone into the new one. So after that, as i was fiddling around with the phone as the guy was writing stuff and checkin mine, i had this nagging feeling at the back of my head. So when it came to signing that piece of paper, my head was giving me hell. It was like forcing me to tears everytime i said yes to the 7280. I dunno, i guess i just found the tiny screen retarded. I kept turning the two side by side and the 80 obviously outshined the 70. But i felt the most extreme doubt i have ever felt in my life. i had never experienced this when i bought the others. The guy was tellin me that this was a collector's item and its better than the 70 and got bluetooth and not many people have it. Somehow i managed to refuse and he gave me back the box and the money and i walked off, nearly crying and with a terrible headache. I nearly puked in the cab on the way home. I love my conscience.

Well i managed to get into the finals for the school talent show thingie labeled "stars wars" bu the bimbotic and retarded teachers in charge excludin ms seah but especially stanley ho. Yeah, so six got in out of like 11 who autditioned. 3 soloists and 3 bands. I just hope either of the soloists gets the top prize...somehow. but now i have this dilema in which the judges are askin us to get the songs minus the voices. Damn difficult. How to get a karaoke my chemical romance cd? Jesse macartney maybe but definitely not MCR. I'm singing Helena, by the way.

Yay! tomorow i'm officially 16. Ah... in olden times this meant the step into manhood. For me, its gettin money to splurge and able to watch NC-16 movies anywhere. I'm gonna get i-pod shuffle with most of the $260 i got from relatives...even though the Black 7270 looks darkly tempting. And on saturday my mom's gonna brimg me eat fresh oysters! I havent had that in years.

Jelly Beans Thursday, July 21, 2005

OK, so had malay listening compre last week. And it was broadcast over ria. Damn good la, cause just before the thing started, Helena was played, so i sang along and ppl looked at me like some psycho. It lifted my mood however. Just hope i get at least B3 for malay so i dun have to retake.

Speakin of psycho, the school has sorta over-advertised counselling. I mean come on, which idiot would go there willingly. I guess the only people the counsellors are gonna see are delinquents. And you know, they were sayin like, we need someone to talk to and watever crap. Yea rite, we're gonna spill everything to stangers, especially since the new one looks like a witch. And reflection class is back again. Why they gotta make it sound so noble. I guess youre supposed to sit there and reflect on your past actions, lame stuff like not tuckin in your shirt. Just call it detention la, no need so snide.

Well, today Mdm chua didnt come so we decided to do the 3 minute fim for the filmmakin course. At first we were supposed to do somethin quite chim la, but with the lack of time and resources, we decided comedy would be easiest. even though it took like two hours. WE spoofed the top 5 ads that we thought were funny, me, sy, tim n darrell. First we wrote stuff on sheets of paper, like opening credits.

No.5. Whisper ad, the one with that girl sittin on the couch sayin " modelling's fun, but it can be tough, when i have my period" then behind her got this hologram catwalkin. OK, so i laid three chairs, laid sideways and started sayin the lines la, and sy was the 'hologram'. I couldnt help laughin cause tim was so uncontrollably laughin. Well, sy had first did it normally then, when it came to the part wher i said "I fear my pad will bunch up and cause leaks" he did an exagerated performace of someone with menstrual cramps. On tape it was hilarius.

No.4. Sk2. So sy did his lines... the zap zap thingie, with a quarter filled spray bottle with the top taken off, and when he said "My miracle water" at the end, he dumped the thing over his face and drenched his face. Guess wat, something went wrong and we had to retake. hahah. So when that scene was over, he was like damn wet la.

No.3. Fisherman's friend. You know the one wher the girl sucked so hard on the sweet then her shirt popped open at the top? Yeah, so sy put two half coconut shells whrapped in cloth into his t-shirt. It was real hard to get the scene goin cause his 'breasts' were sagging and we bound his waist and a cloth over his head and a shirt over his t-shirt. We managed to get the right effect by me and darrell stood on either side of him and we pulled both halves of the shirt open simultaneously.

No.2. You know got this channel 5 thingie, wher mdn tan(patricia mok)from my sassy neighbour turns into wonder woman at a void deck. Well this was a long one to make. Wrapped a towel around my head and sat behind a table with newspapers; the old lady. Then sy came with the camera bag like a hangbag and did such an enormous whoop...noticing a banana peel on the floor(we used a plastic banana for that). Then they shot me puttin up my hands like a shield and threw tons of scrap paper and newspaper at me(the part where patricia changes). Then shot sy with a red towel round his waist, the ‘wig’ on and banana in hand, did that lame dance thingie and went off screen to put up the channel 5 sign in front of the cam.

No.1. Marie france bodyline. You know the one wher that woman so dramatically squeezes between two cars parked closely together? Yeas, s we had two tables put closely together, tim and darrell, at one, me atn the other, with two different sized towls over my head. So i went on to do watever la, thinkin it was a dry run but sy never told us it was the real thing. I got out of my 'car' posed, looked down at the two guys and did that spastic thing that lady did la, with extra, like pushin my butt at the cam. yeah, it looked really embarassin , like when my 'wig' fell off. I just hope he manages to cut that part.

Ok i know the whole thing is kinda drag la, but it was fun and supposed to be funny. Not to be taken seriously ppl. I wonder wt the reactions will be from the others in the course. hah. will find out tomoro.

Ouh yea, the auditions for the talent show are tomoro. Its gonna be much more difficult to win than last year, with 3 bands playin and sy singin Beautiful soul. Haiz. Dont think i will win the finals but as long as i or sy beat elijah's group, i'll be happy.

Morbidity Exposed
7:33 PM

Movies in the Mind Friday, July 15, 2005

Well, that day i had the thrill of disturbing Dora in the morning.I was sittin outside elaine's class, waiting for that slowpoke, when Dora walked pass. She was wearing this very bright lipstick. So i said "Wah, mam. So pretty today!" Hahah. She started to make that twisted smile but stopped and straightened her face. Internal conflict.

Anyways i happened to become the centre of attention on thursday. OK, so it was mornin assembly, and JK was ramblin on as usual about discipline crap, this time it was grooming. So when he said "check your friends" or something to that effect, i turned and mimicked pickin lice off chun's hair. Aparently, JK saw me and asked me to come down. SO after assembly ended, he told me crap that was basically 'this is not serious shit, but i'm gonna punish you anyway. it'll make you a better person, blah blah blah' So he made me do 20 push-ups in fron of everyone, luckily most were not lookin. I was mortified. I didnt even think i could do 3. But i managed all. Chun told me later that some of the class was clappin from the 7th level. Aww. Anyways, a lot of ppl i know started askin my why, and asanul kept pissin me off by imitatin push ups. Hey, at least i get recognised for somethin macho. Hahah. as if. Ouh, and yay, i'm 2 kg heavier.

I wonder. How different dreams are from people to people. I mean the sleep dreams, not ambitions. Like Dan's dreams are mastly very realistic, as in you can't distinguish it from everyday life, and are usually quite short.. You could call it normal, or you could call it boring.

Whenever i try explainin whtever i can remember of my dreams, they are always weird. They would never happen in real life. But yet, when i'm in them, they feel so real. They come in damn long storylines, sometimes only stopped by waking. I dream of strange places i have never seen before. Even familiar surroundings are distorted, but are taken to be real. Like i dreamt the school bathroom was as big as the hall, covered in marble and had those old roman pillars. It was cool. And in the dream, it was taken to be the usual. I've dreamt of being headless, being chased by a werewolf, being royalty in a distant future of credit card sized cameras, watchin bangladeshi workers spar playfully with sickles and were left limbless. Its like i have an entertainment system in my head, haha.

Not forgetting Ryan. He's somewhat like an imaginary friend, but only ever appeared in 2 dreams. He's from china, and filthy rich, i mean he arrived in a private helicopter, had a limo... In the 1st dream, We had a lot of fun, adventures and mishaps, includin the drama with the old hotel elevator. He became my best friend. Unfortunately he had to go back to china. I remember going into his vacant hotel room and finding a green and white toothbrush that he'd left behind.

Then in the second dream, he came back, and i remember sitting at the edge of a building, overlookin a lighted swimming pool at night, and we talked and talked on for hours. I even showed him the toothbrush i kept. After another few adventures(i'm generalising cause i only remember parts of my dreams), he had to go back cause his grandma was sick. i await his return.

Morbidity Exposed
10:15 PM

Tears On Black Paint Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Almost my whole family is like gangin up on me. Ok la, too dramatic. I mean cant they last a day without picking on me? Ok so i'm not the most hardworking person on earth, but still, its perpetual torture. I can take it from my aunt la, not so much from my cousin, not at all from my dad. Yeah, a lot of people say i'm being rude, but i feel he's got no say when he's only all words. And he keeps rattin on the past, even on the way to school man. Start of the day, you gotta be pissed. Tsk, like now for instance. I gues SOMEONE had a bad day and is takin it of on me. Bitch.

Oh yeah... somehow i almost had a breakdown in art lesson just now. Its been real long since the last one. I mean i didnt expect it to creep up on me like that. Ok, i started painting a segment of the caterpillar in my final work. When that segment was done i moved on to paint the 3rd coat on the segment next to it cause it had a paint spatter. But somehow i managed to also ruin the one i just did. Its like the bloody mistakes just kept comin and i have to do it over and over. Its like something is preventing me from gettin it right. I was so freakin frustrated...sat there and just stared. Then asanul came along and dumped his tile of paint beside me, claiming to offer the remaining white paint. Yeah, no way i was gonna let him make me wash it. I felt soo not in the mood for it. So i just picked it up, stalked outside and literally slammed it back beside the sink he was usin. Thank god it didnt break. Then i went back inside and sat back in front of the painting. I was just like feebly trying to remedy it, although i dont think that was my intention, and tears just started wellin up in my eyes. Ergh, luckily they didnt flow out. I guess it wasnt just the art. The stress from other stuff, i guess as well.

Well miss chua...i mean mrs lee got me to clear up the stuff so she could help me. Well ok la, she started off, and i managed to finish without mistake. It still doesnt look perfect, but it turned out ok. Weird.

Morbidity Exposed
7:53 PM

Elk... Saturday, July 09, 2005

Ok, so malay oral officially sucked. It was so bad i could cry. But of course i just smiled like an idiot. It was like watchin a plane crash. Or more recently, a bus blow up. Yeah. It was over before it even started. The reading went quite ok i guess, but i made a lot less mistakes while practicing. Nervousness is such a pain.
The conversation, however...to the invigilators, it must have sounded like i just started learning malay last year. I had all the ideas in english and couldnt translate them or i just forgot terms in malay that didnt have english translations either. I was on the fence. Either gape and um like a moron, or use english. Of course for question 1, only option 1 was available. For question 2, i was so gonna jump out of my skin.

And later, after the exam, i thought, hmm, i fell like havin some refreshment. So i came to this fruit shop, picked out one of those baby coconuts($1), and gave it to the guy to open la. So he unwrapped the plastic and started chopping. Only then i realised all i had with me was 20cents. Thank god the guy was about my age and kinda blur, and didnt penetrate the coconut properly yet. I practically yelled "wait!" , throwing my hands out like a mime, ran through something that supposedly said "i forgot something i needed to buy" although i knew i was somewhat incoherent, and ran away. At least he didnt look angry. Maybe it would take a few moments before it got to him. Heck.

Morbidity Exposed
1:26 PM

Emcee Again. Tsk. Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Uh, i cant believe Ms seah wants me to emcee Founders Day this year. I'm really quite busy nowdays. I refused but you know i cant seriously refuse if its her la. Dora gave me hell last year when she made me emcee founders day tea. Everytime i stumbled or said something wrongly in practice, she would correct me so strictly, i couldnt help laughing and couldnt stop. Anyway, hope i manage to get it right and not make a fool of myself and not get another horrible photo in the sch mag. Which reminds me, i'm really pissed with elaine. I mean i performed 3 frikin yrs in a row and my pic is still not there. Horrible, eccentric, hunch-backed woman. Tsk.

I'm struggling with art man. I was so dying tryin to paint the bloody thing properly yesterday. And i found out ryan's almost finished with his dnt. I fell so damn slow. AHHH! Then malay oral is this friday. I am so gonna screw it up man. I could just die of anxiety in front of the invigilator. I mean i almost never speak malay, and when i do, it comes out like crap.

Ouh, something kinda dramatic happened today. While mrs charles was talkin about the oral exam durin mornin assembly, one of the guys who raised the flag, beside daniel just fainted and fell flat on his face. I still dont get how these guys dont break their nose or something. Anyway mrs charles just looked at him for a moment, then continued like nothing happend. Mr sim was nearest, called some other boys to turn him over. I mean i bet no one was listening to charles over that commotion. So watever. Niway, it was funny cause he got up when the prefect asked the school to stand. Coincidence?

Ouh, its weird cause i thought me shan yu and tim took the cake for bitchyness, i mean besides daphne la. But well, i talked to one of my pri sch friends nad read his blog and, wow. i so do not want to be in any of his enemies shoes. hahah.

Morbidity Exposed
4:21 PM

Hang On! Monday, July 04, 2005

Ok, so yesterday we went to orchard mrt to wait for our buses to bring us to the place to run. Sitting in the hot sun, then see Daphne ang come, her face so ronyok. Arrive ony start bitching oredi. She bullies students just because she can. Tsk. Then up the damn crowded bus, like mass evacuation or sumthin. M.I.L.K run. Mainly I love Kids. Some charity thing. Sounds very paedophile-ish. Anyway got some talent contests with unice olsen, that mark richards?, mervyn fom kids central as judges, along with some other very scruffy guy. Ouh, and i didnt know justin ang was so fat, he doesnt sound it on the radio. Hahah! Anyway that fat malay girl who sang sunwher over the rainbow on sg idol was there, then this group of like 8-12 yr old girls danced to "milkshake" although not that gd lah. Too lazy to run so like half of the people in my clss who showed up left, go eat lunch at Great World city. Then they go play soccer at nam chuin house n i go window shoppin at taka. Hahah! Ouh, and saw some rich byotch with a nokia 8800.

So today was like the first outing i ever organised. Go watch war of the worlds then to jurong east to swim. In all, there were ten of us who went to watch the movie. It was damn good. Loved the drama and effects. Damn sad when his son "died". Bravo to dakota fanning for her great performance even though so young. The alien face quite qute but the body damn gross. The ending very lame lah.

Then after my light lunch, five of us went to Jurong. Supposed to be seven lah.. but some ppl. Tsk. Anyway it was me Dan, Jp, SY and SH. Very fun lah. Play around the 'lazy river', the others attempted to swim against the flow. Then we go wave pool. Jumped up and hung on to the wall. Or tried to lah. Then the life guard damn pms dun allow, so we splash water at him. Hilarious. Then went to take the yellow slide. Got tat kinda rollercoaster feelin. nice but too short. No lah. kiddin. As it is i was shoutin like an idiot. haha. Stupid jeremy left so early for a movie but in the end it was moved to a later time. Then we got two floats and tried out the pink slide. Shouted things like dora lee and elaine low on the long ride down. Not scary at all, but the first time was a little dizzy. Then swapped places and went the yellow again. SH and SY went like 3 times while i and dan were waitin at the yellow. Then i and dan turn ar, these and mo sounding kids decided to stop in the middle of the slide la, when i hit, they budged a little but we managed to stay. then daniel come and, well... bowling. haha. went to the wave pool again, pretented i was lost at sea. Then went on the pink with Sh. I stopped in the middle, wait for him then he start screaming very loud. So i cover my ears ad shriek damn high and long, till dan and sy could recognise us fom below. yalah. Din at kfc, then go home by mrt, imitating a lot of electronic voices, like the mrt, taxi, and telephone - this is a singapore telecom announcement service...

Morbidity Exposed
9:13 PM

A Tear in the Fabric Saturday, July 02, 2005

Ok, i sorta alredy typed two paragraphs but somehow, when i pressed backspace, it went to the previos page. Anyway, its 11.29 p.m. according to my computer. The rest of my family is watchin batman begins on dvd, although the sound sucks cause its pirated.

I guess people are like dvd's or vcd's. Those who can be original and genuine at the same time have it good. Clear images, sharp surround sound. Not eveyone is lucky enough to be able to show the inside of the fabric they have so tediously weaved around themselves. These people are artists, in a weird kind of way. Potters- building high and sturdy walls around themselves so magnificent that they are lost within. Actors- getting up every morning deciding how to portray their made up character this day. Brilliant actors will be awarded Oscars; acception into society. Fashion designers-fabricating such impressive personalities that they parade down the catwalk of life, from couture to mainstream.

Maybe thats why i love the entertainment business. You could be whoever you choose to be. You can escape your rag of a life and leap into new skin, walk in the shoes of Tom Cruise or Jennifer Lopez. People say art is a form of expression, and i believe it. Not the crap everyone says, like "the art of cooking" or "martial arts". Its not really what looks nice. Its what makes you feel. Its how you pour all your ache into the material. The reason why people who do art based on emotion feel good when they are praised is because its like their personality is being accepted. Maybe i dont really put this into practice, and feel proud due to the work i have put in. It is a way to sorta make people like you for what you really are.

I know this all sound like a load of crap to many, but i think this is really essential. Going back to the basics. Letting out our own philosophies that are shared by many.

I love role playing. All the time i invent new characters with special powers so that when life becomes unbearable, i put on my invisible costume and fight all the demons and beasts that flood through my window or jump me in the corridors.

Morbidity Exposed
11:30 PM

Back and Fourth Friday, July 01, 2005

Life has become kinda hectic for me, and i bet everyone else taking the O's this year. Trying to mug and squeezing in some social life, its all just a blur. enjoying the company of friends means going out, watchin a movie, activities in a big group. very simple general and bimbotic. Yeah, i shouldnt criticise since i'm organisin a thing this comin monday.

It has been very long since i just sat and talked to a friend. Nothin else. No art. No homework. I used to have good long conversations with sy back when he was different, back when what you saw was what you got. Back before his sudden change. Well, today, it was with Daniel, and so on like 2 other occasions. We would like blade a while, then just plop ourselves down and talk about anything under the sun. Doesnt need to be some chim or deep topic, just normal stuff. It sorta reminds me that quality is better than quantity. Simple friendship is more important than great social circles. Yeah. You dont have to be at a great place to have a good time.

Morbidity Exposed
9:38 PM