Puppy Dog Eyes
Friday, August 18, 2006
Wat am i doing. Isnt it enough that i have her as her friend for now? Why am i hoping something will happen? Am i that much of an egoist... to think she'll like me perhaps, eventually? I mean if its supposed to happen, i guess it does happen, but hows that supposed to work out if she's so far away? I'm not like some orlando bloom or anything who can make girls swoon. So, so far from that. But all i can offer is my personality. But i feel that i cant even show her that. I dont think she even likes me as a friend that much. Coming from 10 years in boys schools does not help one bit. I mean i thought i would know girls, at least to some extent cause i live with my aunt an her 2 daughters, one of which has migrated. But like i thought, hearing those rants would give me some insight. I'm not given opportunities to wow her and yet i feel that if i try, i might be like forcing her to like me or something, and everyone knows, forced stuff never works out.
There's so much about her i dont know, heavens, even her surname. But if she's so reluctant to step into opportunities to let me get to know her, how do i do anything? I mean its not that its like love at 1st sight or anything, but like she's, i dunno. I dunno what it is that attracts me. I dont mean like her appearance, but like what do i feel that attracts me? Is it merely liking? or lust? or the potential that it could turn out to be a beautiful relationship? She has quite a few endearing qualities. But yet again, i still dont know her enough. What makes her laugh(a lot of things from wat i see), angry or cry? Wat are her likes, dislikes, hobbies? Has she ever been attatched? If so wat was he like and why they broke up.
Maybe i'm trying to rush things cause i fear she might fall for someone else before i even have the chance. I'm taking such baby steps and even then, she's resistant. Ergh. Too complicated. The lack of sleep is not helping. I mean even if i was well rested, i wouldn't be able to lift the obscuring fog off this situation. I just hope something brings us together. I mean its not like i want to marry her or anything, i just want a deeper relationship with someone you know? ergh, I'm such a dweeb.
Morbidity Exposed
10:42 PM
