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Enter the Stygian Foretress Friday, July 28, 2006

What's wrong with me? Sure, i'm sociable and i KNOW i'm not secretly unliked by as much people as yk. But i do have my fair share of enemies. Anyway, thats not the point. It seems i dont fit in anywhere. Like everyone has their own cliques. They're so close and stuff, you know. And i'm neither here nor there. Am i searching for something or am i just detached? Its like i'm just 'that guy in my class'. I cant describe what its like. I'm just left out or something. It cant be anyone else's problem can it? They're doing fine arent they? So its all me. Where did i go wrong? What did i or didnt i do? Its like, sure were one big happy class, then when they all disperse in their groups, i'm left standing there. Alone. I know, boo hoo. Sob story. I wish i could just tell myself "deal with it" or "nobody gives a rats ass". Its like my aunt is askin me who i'm going out with to spend my birthday with. Nobody. But i cant tell her that. She thinks i'm socially established. Whatever that means. I'll just have to lie. I cant stay at home... i know it'll make me feel worse. Hopefully the polluted outdoor air will do me some good. Of course i'm gonna go despo and ask loads of people and be turned down 99% of the time. But if thats what it takes than yeah. When will it stop?

I hate myself for being so whiny. But i just had to get it out of my system.