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Tears On Black Paint Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Almost my whole family is like gangin up on me. Ok la, too dramatic. I mean cant they last a day without picking on me? Ok so i'm not the most hardworking person on earth, but still, its perpetual torture. I can take it from my aunt la, not so much from my cousin, not at all from my dad. Yeah, a lot of people say i'm being rude, but i feel he's got no say when he's only all words. And he keeps rattin on the past, even on the way to school man. Start of the day, you gotta be pissed. Tsk, like now for instance. I gues SOMEONE had a bad day and is takin it of on me. Bitch.

Oh yeah... somehow i almost had a breakdown in art lesson just now. Its been real long since the last one. I mean i didnt expect it to creep up on me like that. Ok, i started painting a segment of the caterpillar in my final work. When that segment was done i moved on to paint the 3rd coat on the segment next to it cause it had a paint spatter. But somehow i managed to also ruin the one i just did. Its like the bloody mistakes just kept comin and i have to do it over and over. Its like something is preventing me from gettin it right. I was so freakin frustrated...sat there and just stared. Then asanul came along and dumped his tile of paint beside me, claiming to offer the remaining white paint. Yeah, no way i was gonna let him make me wash it. I felt soo not in the mood for it. So i just picked it up, stalked outside and literally slammed it back beside the sink he was usin. Thank god it didnt break. Then i went back inside and sat back in front of the painting. I was just like feebly trying to remedy it, although i dont think that was my intention, and tears just started wellin up in my eyes. Ergh, luckily they didnt flow out. I guess it wasnt just the art. The stress from other stuff, i guess as well.

Well miss chua...i mean mrs lee got me to clear up the stuff so she could help me. Well ok la, she started off, and i managed to finish without mistake. It still doesnt look perfect, but it turned out ok. Weird.